do you like money?
"and you’ll present it in front of the class"
if i was famous id probably just ask my fans to buy me food when im hungry
The teacher said ‘hit the lights’ and this kid punched the light switch and broke it
have you ever met someone who likes the same stuff as you but they’re not obsessed enough
that’s really the worst kind of pain
SNAKES DONT HAVE ARMS? THEY CANT GO BOWLING
fuck. there goes my snake bowling team, fuck this
So this little kid at church noticed I’m fat and asked me today “Why do you have a big belly?”
I couldn’t really think of an acceptable answer for that so I simply responded:
“Because I’m full of bees”
I don’t think I’ve seen a more confused and terrified child in my life as I walked away, hearing him whisper “Bees…” to himself.
'are you flirting with me or are you like this to everyone' a classic novel by me