comparingmeerkats:

comparingmeerkats:

this one time i had to look after a fake baby for school and i got like 100% but all i did was shut it up when it cried, he just sat with me on tumblr for 2 days 

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he was called doug. he also enjoyed fine wine 

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(Source: khalessiofpizza)

cnnbreaking:

when you are so desperate you go to the second page of google results

(Source: cnnbreakingofficial)

andthentheresallthisshit:

deadgomery:

theprinceswilly:

nosferpatbu:

i just saw this picture of shrek

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and i’m laughing because it’s as if i’m about to give him a blowjob

tears are coming out of my eyes

NO NO NO NO NO

“That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.”

OH MY GOD IT GOT BETTER/WORSE

(Source: patbee)

run-cause-hitler:

enayalate-h8-this-year:

bbanditt:

slett:

winchestercodependency:

ibecameacat:

what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do

dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off

“People with vaginas”

what are those called again

I can’t remember

this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for 

(Source: vvumblr)

encourage:

Do you ever get in those moods when everything annoys you and you’re just so irritated and nervous but you have no clue why, and you just want to punch a hole in the wall and then break down in tears?

sethun:

you don’t know what you have

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until it’s gone

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via smiliearts (originally sethun)

flomation:

I thought I should share some things I’ve collected

What I think when kids in my class read

  • That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA
  • That’s a COMMA, NOT A PERIOD
  • Why the hell can’t you pronounce that word?
  • THE TEACHER JUST CORRECTED YOU WHY’D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN?!?!?!
  • Can I sleep?
  • If you can’t read, why’d you raise your hand?
  • You can’t pronounce THAT word?
  • WHAT THE HELL
  • The fuck you like long ass paragraphs for
  • My skin’s crawling
  • Oh god not him, his voice sounds like a dying nail on a dying chalkboard
  • You skipped a line
  • LOL what was that?
  • I don’t even. 

(Source: youcanbethecaptain)